New Year, Same Me

Well, and just like that, it is officially a new year. I started this blog as a way for me to share and process one of the toughest years of my life. In 2020, I lost my relationship with my father, I had to close my business (which ended up being a HUGE blessing as we were able to SELL the business – including the DBA, social media accounts and website). I also moved away from home for the FIRST TIME EVER, healed my body from having a baby, kept said baby alive, all while surviving a pandemic. To say my life flipped upside would be an understatement. But, here we are. HERE I AM! DO YOU HEAR ME? I’m NOT AFRAID ANYMORE! (name that movie in the comments!!!)

So with all of the hard things I went through, I also was put through the ringer in terms of growth. I raised a human and he is incredibly funny, sweet and so amazing. I love being his mom and I REALLY love getting to spend so much time with him. I know that is a huge blessing and trust me, I am beyond grateful. I have been going to therapy almost weekly since March and have grown so much. If you ever need a self help book, you let me know. I’ve got a great selection. I learned what it was like to let go and really process anger or sadness – which I was never really taught how to do that growing up. In fact, up until March of 2020, I thought the way I handled my emotions was GOOD and NORMAL. But when you reach a breaking point and self harm by cutting, binging and purging is no longer doing the trick, it’s time to bring in the professionals. WHICH THANK GOD I DID! I recognize that therapy is a privilege. As much as we financially suffered in 2020, I am so thankful that I made therapy a priority for me over ordering in, drinking alcohol, cutting, binging and purging, and pretty much anything I think I have normally done in the past to process my emotions. Happy to share more on my story if you’re ever interested. It’s long but I am comfortable sharing and would love to be someone you – reader – could come to if you feel like you’re struggling with processing your emotions in healthy ways. It’s hard work and it will always be hard work, but if you devote yourself to putting in the work, I promise you, you’ll find the space to grow. I say this with so much love, friend.

So, what does all of this growth from 2020 mean for 2021. IT MEANS I AM FREAKING EXHAUSTED! It means that this space will get more of the fun, vibrant and truly sincere Leah I have wanted this space to hold. It will get the real stories, real life, and real vulnerability I think I have wanted to share but never truly did. It will also get the things I love like food, travel (HOPEFULLY), movies, my family, being a mom, finding plus size fashion that I enjoy, shedding light on brands who are all about inclusivity and working on finding my genuine voice in a world where it can feel easy to be drowned out.

I hope this blog grows in ways similar to my own personal growth. I hope that this year, I connect with more people online who relate to my story. I hope that I can make more friends in the plus size community online. I hope I can wear the outfits I always thought I couldn’t because I was fat. I hope this space helps you, reader, know that fat is NO LONGER a negative term. Fat is a descriptor, and I am proud to be a fat, beautiful, smart, compassionate, funny female on this tiny speck of the internet.

Thanks for reading! Thanks for being here! I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read what I share and I hope that you know, I am always a safe place for those to come to share their struggles, sadness, grief, and I will do my best to listen and lead with compassion.

YOU ARE LOVED.